It all started with a Surprise Sample- Hell Yeah!
I received this tea as a free sample. I am not a representative of their company and I do not actually remember how I got on the list to receive the freebie. I do know that I was reading up on detoxing. I may have signed up from a social media giveaway or possibly the search engine bot knew I was searching and triggered the sample to be sent. Either way, I am glad that it happened
I knew I had to Try It
I knew I had something amiss because I had been involved in a hurricane and waded through waist-deep floodwaters a year earlier and my gut just wasn't feeling right. During that hurricane, the cities sewer system had been compromised and some piping under houses had broken loose. I can only imagine what I was walking through. I also had pneumonia right before the hurricane came through. After the storm, I went into the house to clean up the calamity. There was definitely some gross stuff in there. I took Activated charcoal and bentonite clay right afterward and I got pneumonia, After pneumonia, I did not continue to use the charcoal and clay. It sat in my cabinet for months, in fact.
Over the course of the next year, I started to feel sluggish and when I ate, I felt like I had swallowed a basketball. I burped a lot. My liver felt hard and my digestion was slow. I would feel bile in the back of my throat when I woke up in the mornings. Many people suggested that I see a doctor but, I have had quite a lot of mixed opinions from doctors and I have stopped believing in their ability to help me. I researched for myself and asked questions of people who had been through this type of ailment.
Please do not take this as Medical Advice
By all means, if you or I break a leg or get in an accident, we should head to a hospital immediately. I am not at all trying to make anyone think that the medical profession or medications do not have their place and their proper usage. I have tried to limit my use of doctors as much as possible.
I had been labeled with so many health problems that I decided to stop seeing a doctor and just try eating real food and taking real herbs,
Law of Attraction is real?
Somehow by luck or law of attraction, I received the tea in the mail. It is also possible that I signed up for it sometime in the past and just don't remember. Also, one day I was bored and signed up for all sorts of free stuff. The tea wasn't one that I remember asking for but, I am really grateful that they sent it to me. Someone knew what I needed. I have bought more on Amazon since receiving it. Damn, this shit works.
I drank the tea
I tried the tea first thing in the morning. I mixed the tea into a standard water bottle and shook it up. It says it works better warm so I just microwaved it. I know that microwaves aren't great for you and that there are better ways but, as I said, I microwaved it. The packet I got tasted like very little of anything.
Maybe the best way to describe it is as if LaCroix made a flavor called dust without bubbles. So, like day old water bottle next to the bed. I drank it plain the first time.
I waited until I was preparing my next meal the same evening to taste the tea again. This time, I added honey and a lemon wedge to a mug and then I ran a bottle of water through my coffee pot into the mug. I stirred in the herbal tea powder and drank it warm. The lemon honey flavored dirt was much more palatable. I drank it while I was preparing my food. The YouTube ladies all say to use it 30 minutes before food, so I decided to make a Rachel Ray style 30-minute meal.
I took it for a day and a half
The sample I received had three packets. On the 2nd day, I added a scoop of Barleans Greens to the last packet of tea and drank it warm. Ok, this mixed berry stuff tastes like I ate all of the jolly ranchers and skittles in the world at once and chased it with a tiny piece of Nori. Maybe I put too much. It tastes good but just has a really sweet aftertaste and the fruitiness is mixed with a really green seagrassy flavor. After reading the reviews on the product, I see that most people love this Berry flavor but, other people do not like the strong sweetness of the Stevia
Oh MY GROSS
So, shit really started happening at the end of the 2nd day. I felt a bit crampy before things really got moving, I was drinking several bottles of water with frozen lemon slices floating in them and I drank some veggie soup with nutritional yeast base. A few minutes after the soup came the poop.
They all Died
I saw dead things. I saw things I did not want to accept as having been in me. I hoped it was a fluke and that those things were like undigested pineapple or old chewing gum I must've swallowed in childhood. I did what anyone would do. I googled poop pics. Turns out it was a fluke. I had what looked like liver flukes. I decided not to dig in the poop pile any further and I just went to Amazon and got more tea and some Drops that kill parasites
My tits are sagging now
Technically, the swelling is going down in my abdomen. So, yay, that means I've lost inches. This has caused my nipples to inch closer to my belly button than they were before. I have ample boobs and apparently part of their allure is toxic water weight. It's a real calamatiitty.
Now it's Prime Time
My Amazon order came fast, as usual. I was a bit premature in trying the Intestinal Edge drops. I opened the bottle as soon as I received it and dropped them under my tongue with the eagerness of an unfed baby bird. I then decided it might be a good time to stock up on liquids and veggies to juice. I was standing in line at the grocery store when the stomach gurgles and herbal burps began. Luckily I was only a mile from home and I made it just in time to haul my groceries in and haul butt to el bano (that's Spanish for bathroom Dora)
I drank more tea
I felt like crap and I pooped a lot. I drank tea twice a day and took the wormwood drops with it. I did not know that the company that made the tea also makes some drops for parasites. I didn't try theirs and I don't know if the claims are true but, they call it a Gastric Bypass in a bottle so, it sounds promising.
I juiced a bunch of fruits and veggies and hated it. All of that chopping for such little yield? I'd rather eat the fruit later than juice it now so, I gave up on juicing regularly. I got a badass juicer, on Amazon, of course. I still use it from time to time but,
I drank a bunch of bubbly water I drank flat water with frozen lemon and I avoided sugar for like a week and then I broke down and ate some fast food with a frosted chocolate ice cream like thingy and felt like a bloated mess.
Don't do it like me. Eat light and eat right for a few weeks and then gradually add foods back. The less damage you do, the less maintenance you will need.
I felt so sick
Anytime your body has to fight off or rid itself of anything, there are some consequences and reactions. When cleansing, it is called a Herxheimer reaction. Some people refer to it as toxic die-off syndrome. I was sweating and felt really tired all day long. I took some of my charcoal caps and upped my water intake.
Better than Exercise
I know I have lost weight. I do not own a scale. I hardly ever measure when I cook. I know that I look and feel better, My clothes fit better and my boyfriend is all of the sudden very into me.
I will continue to use the product as needed to maintain. I think I will use it quarterly just to keep track. I am back to a normal eating routine and I have added Yoders shots in the morning with PB8 probiotic capsules in the evening
I can't say that these are the best brands but I can say that I feel better than I did when I thought I was dying of Lupus and much better than I felt when I was more full of bugs than a beehive.
Next month I'm trying out Kombucha and other fermented foods to build up my bene-bac, beneficial bacteria that help keep your gut regulated,
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